Not a failure!

“How do other people do it? I know they are out there!” I cried. The people I was referring to were the ones who had a tidy organised life while enjoying quality time with their children, which I was failing to do. The person I was talking to was God and as I said this, I had a thought which coincidently answered my question. (I don’t actually think it’s a coincidence.)

“You are not a task orientated person you are a relationship orientated person!”

I suddenly felt a little more peaceful. 

 You see I know a lot of people who love ticking off lists but it’s just not me. So I tend to see myself as a failure because my ability to inately live by a routine, tick lists and have anything in the way of forethought is non existent. I am at the very far end of the scale of floaty, see what happens, let it go, work it out as you go along. However this is not conducive to raising 4 children, which means I often feel like a failure! 

But how about I turn things around a little in my head. In a world where people need a smile, a hello, an ear to listen, for someone to notice them, for nothing to be achieved but for people to feel a little lighter… I actually do really well!!! But you know what? I could do better! I haven’t valued my invaluable strengths, I havnt been conscious of them and developed them because I’ve been wasting my time being a butterfly comparing myself to an ant. Well that is going to change. (sorry ants you are beautiful like a butterfly, you get my point. See there I go empathising with the ants, I mean I’m just so thoughtful and kind.) 
Today I cried because I felt like I had failed so many times in the first few hours of the day because in some ways I had. Because it would be great to be good at the stuff that I’m not good at, but I’m not and that’s ok. Yes some people are good at all of it, people orientated and task orientated, good for them! Genuinely. I’m sure they have their own struggles. It does not mean I don’t keep trying to get things done well but I know I’ve made people smile today and for that I am so grateful for being me.

PS. If you do come to my house you will ironically see a tick list on my fridge!! However it is not me that ticks it its my kids and I doubt it will last longer than a week anyway!

Ezra’s first blog post

My blog by Ezra I liket the ritng abuot the rite brothres

Source: Ezra’s first blog post